Dear Mom…

Thought I would give this writing prompt from The Daily Post a shot.

 

Dear Mom,

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you last. 11.. 12 years maybe? In the short time I did have with you, I can say that I enjoyed every day, every minute, every second. We’ve been through a lot of tough and hard times together and I’m happy that we could experience those times with one another. You taught me a lot of things from how to be independent at a young age to how to write poetry and short stories. You also taught me that life is sometimes cut short between people who truly love each other with no explanation. After your death, I was a sad and confused child. I would even say a child full of hate and anger. I hated the fact that you weren’t going to be there for me when I went to prom or when I graduated from high school or when I had to move to college. I was angered because I couldn’t grasp the fact that my mother, my rock and my heart, was gone and I couldn’t see or talk to you anymore. Of course I say little prayers in hope that you’ll hear me wherever you are.

I’ve never had the chance to say “Thank You” to you for giving me the gift of writing. I’m oftentimes saddened by the fact that you’ve never read any of my work. I know I shouldn’t cry over you as much as I have lately, but I can’t help it. You were my best friend before I even knew what the definition of a best friend was. I’ve never had the chance to tell you, either, how much love I had for you and how much an inspiration you’ve been for me. People often tell me that I “look just like your mother” and I always comeback with “No, I don’t.” It’s not an insult to you, I just hate being compared to a woman who’s dead now and who looks nothing like me at the moment. The picture of you that’s on my desk right now is the only one that I have of you, my brother, and I that’s ever been displayed for others to see. We were all happy in that picture. Of course, it was taken when my brother was 12-13ish and I was months old, but you can still see the happiness and innocence in our eyes.

You and I both know that I’m a smart kid, but this smart kid has made some really dumb decisions starting in high school and continuing into my freshman year of college. I apologize for having family members being ashamed of me, but in the last couple of years, I’ve proven to them that I can do better and I will do better. I might not have been the best granddaughter to your mother or step-father and I am sorry for that as well. It was not easy for me to adjust to having to leave the sunny west coast and move to the cold, foreign east coast. I was young and didn’t fully comprehend that my grandparents were just doing the right thing by taking me into their home. When I heard the news that you died at the hospital, I died a little inside. Not only did I lose my mother, I didn’t have the chance to tell you “I Love You” before you passed. I don’t remember our last phone conversation fully, but I do remember you telling me not to make fun of my grandmother whenever she burped out loud. I guess I had difficulty with adjusting to that, and I still do, although now when she burps, it’s even more funnier because she doesn’t acknowledge it and just keeps on with talking (Sorry mom, but it’s pretty funny).

I still haven’t learned to love and respect my grandparents as I should. I can say that I have respect for them at times when we agree on the same things, but loving and respecting them as human beings is something I still have to work on. They’ve done a lot for me and I do admit, I’ve taken advantage of their generosity, but I’m learning. I promise to do better by them when I get older and am financially stable and able to pay them back for all of the years they have spent taking care of me. I promise to make you happier, too. Even though you’re not here with me physically, you’re here with me spiritually. I promise to read more books as well.  I know how much you loved it when I would grab books and pose for your Kodak snapshots. I also promise to never stop what I love doing the most, and that’s writing. I will make it one day as a poet and a book author and I will also open up a bookstore, just for you. I will be successful, but I won’t forget about you, mom. I’ll dedicate as many books and poems to you as I can. I’ll make you proud, one way or another.

 

From your very loving daughter,

L.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Dear Mom…

  1. One year later. Aren’t you proud?! Look at you. Learn all that you can from your grandparents, you won’t regret it. Nothing that I wouldn’t do for two minutes with my deceased grandma…glad I saw this.

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