I Believe in a Higher Being

By ‘higher being’, I mean something that is equal to what God is to those who believe in Him.  Since I was a young child, I’ve either attended Sunday School or participated in church by way of youth groups or other youth events.  There has never been a chance for me to question my own faith since it was basically given to me since birth.  After my mother’s death, I was still living with my grandparents who were heavy on attending church every Sunday.  I had no problem with it because I’ve been to church in the past and found ways to bear through the service.  After I reached high school, questions about God started to come forth in my head.  I never spoke about them with anyone around me because I felt like I would get shot down after opening my mouth.

I remember one Sunday morning, sitting in the backseat of the car asking my grandmother why did I have to come to church that day.  She raised her voice loudly and what she said next I will never remember.  But it was something along the lines of, “Why don’t you want to come to church anymore?”  There were more questioning times for me that I never acted on.  Plenty of times when I started to lose interest in what was being preached to me and the congregation.  In the scriptures that were being read.  In the prayers that were being said.  I’m not sure why, but I started to lose my faith in God.

As of now, I’m going back and forth between praying to God and praying to a god.  I do know, or believe at least, that there is something bigger out there that has this power that people give to God.  I do not believe that God can make the blind see or the paralyzed walk.  I do believe in miracles, but in a sense that they happen without the help of God, but by their own will.

I wrote this poem, maybe back in 2010 or 2011, about what I believe about God.  The responses I received after posting it reassured me that I was not alone and that other people felt the same way.

Is There a God?

Is there a God?

Is there really one creator of all?

If such a person did exist,

Why is our world plagued with such loathsome people?

Why is there this abundant amount of hatred living within our souls?

We are not all holy, we don’t portray ourselves as such.

If there was a higher being,

I would expect people of earth to be less full of themselves,

To be more concerned with the state of their living grounds.

We consume negativity like a meal, lingering for more,

Our religions battle one another, proving their own to be the right one,

If there is a God, he failed when he created us.

 

This post is in response to this week’s Dungeon Prompt: Concepts of God.  Thank you for posting this certain topic.  It’s been something that I’ve always wanted to get off of my chest.

 

L.

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19 thoughts on “I Believe in a Higher Being

  1. I went through my compulsory life-stage of questioning the existence of God (i.e. my hardcore wannabe Atheist phase where I thought I knew everything- I found out that no, I don’t). I figured out that I don’t want to live in a world where we have all of the answers. I want very much for there to be things that we cannot explain. I believe that’s what God is- the things that we can’t explain. It’s very comforting.
    Thank you for writing and posting this.

    • No problem, thank you for your comment. I wouldn’t say I’m leaning towards the atheist side, but I do have my doubts. But I like what you said about not having all of the answers. Sometimes it is good to not know everything, and to just let things be.

  2. Great article. I too have a very questioning mind. I always feel that I have a devotional heart but a skeptical mind and so I fall a little in the middle just feeling that it is right for me to live a life based in spirituality. I really appreciate your article and words. Thank you for being a part of Dungeon Prompts.

  3. This is great. I always struggled with religion as I grew up in a Lutheran church and as a teen experimented going to my friends’ churches and seeing what other faiths are out there. In the end I couldn’t really go for any of it but I still consider myself agnostic. Maybe because I couldn’t settle on anything but can’t come to terms with the idea that there is no higher power, either.

  4. I have been through stages of belief or disbelief. I am at a point where I thoroughly confused lol and I fuse all the beauty I find different beliefs including atheism. Still I would consider myself as having faith.

    Lovely poem you wrote.

  5. I really enjoyed your post and your poem is awesome…I kept nodding my head and “I would expect people of earth to be less full of themselves,” made me smile! Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Oliana

  6. This is a great post, I went through the very same thing, since I was 10 years old I have been attending church. I went to Sunday School, Bible Study and Prayer, I participated in almost every church committee (“suggested” by my mother, of course). I too had questions, not so much is there a God or if God exist, more so questioning His intentions on life, purpose of life, if he is so merciful how could he let these “things” happen. While I was “faithfully” attending church, I was expecting change, but change never happened.
    Anyway I learn more outside of church, getting to know myself and trying to learn what life is about, I’m not saying one should not attend church, I believe giving thanks to God and appreciating your life because of God’s grace is important, but figuring what life is all about sometimes takes time and living.

  7. I wish there was a way to privately message you, Lol. I get embarrassed when I have lengthy comments. But, I can’t say I’ve ever questioned the existence of God. However, I did question if I were an actual Christian or not. There is nothing wrong with asking questions. I’ll write a post on this…funny a friend of mine is on a similar “tangent” <3 I like your honesty. Write up tomorrow…that'll be less embarrassing than writing an essay in the comment box :-)

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